19 September 2007

wading through water

sometimes i feel like things will never get easier. like i will be stuck like this somehow for the rest of my life. today has been really difficult for me. between counting calories at breakfast and then going to the gym (which i had previously planned to do) and having it turn into a calorie-negating project rather than just a workout. breakfast wasn't a binge, per se, but i could feel it coming on. and i was able to view it objectively and stop myself, which is something i am rarely able to do, but i just feel like i'm in a really precarious place right now.

went out to lunch with friends and ordered something that didn't fill me up, so now i'm still hungry after having spend like 11 dollars on lunch, and i don't know what to do. like i said, i feel like i'm in a really precarious place.

i guess all this is just to check in and get my thoughts down on paper (or on the screen..) as a way of self-therapizing. i'll write more later, but i have work to do right now. and possibly have to find something to eat...

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